Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
A New Year, Another Cliche Resolution
It is officially the time of year when I realize that winter coats are to be purchased instead of built from scratch with cupcakes and Christmas dinners. It’s also the time of year that I have to face my horrible phobia that is the GYM.
It’s completely irrational to fear a place where you are actually allowed to look like crap. In fact, people seem to respect the sweaty there.
It’s completely irrational to fear a place where you are actually allowed to look like crap. In fact, people seem to respect the sweaty there.
More Disturbing Christmas Memories
I come from a big family that is the result of multiple marriages. Our family photos often look like my parents picked up random kids from the side of the road. It’s a big, messy, loud and funny bunch of which I am the youngest. Here’s the kind of memories my family made this Christmas.
My mother added a patch to all the kid’s stockings. Each one was to illustrate our interests or hobbies. My brother’s had a guitar, my sister who is a doctor had a stethoscope and my oldest sister’s stocking had a suitcase because she loves to travel. What did mine have?? A shiny, sparkly purple patch that said FLIRT. It’s basically the scarlet letter of stockings. Great. My mother thinks my hobby is being a whore. Musician, Doctor, Jet Setter and our youngest the Hoe. Merry Christmas to me.
My mother added a patch to all the kid’s stockings. Each one was to illustrate our interests or hobbies. My brother’s had a guitar, my sister who is a doctor had a stethoscope and my oldest sister’s stocking had a suitcase because she loves to travel. What did mine have?? A shiny, sparkly purple patch that said FLIRT. It’s basically the scarlet letter of stockings. Great. My mother thinks my hobby is being a whore. Musician, Doctor, Jet Setter and our youngest the Hoe. Merry Christmas to me.
Perhaps I Should Take the Bus
Christmas is coming and with it extreme amounts of travel. Although many of you choose to fly to your destinations, I try to stick with ground transportation. Unfortunately, this does not exempt me from airports for the rest of the year. I am currently (and begrudgingly) booking a long overdue flight from Florida to Washington and already my palms are sweating and I feel all twitchy.
As the years have progressed I have become increasingly terrified of flying. Maybe it’s the mysterious influx in Canadian geese? Maybe it’s the media’s hyper coverage of planes simply FALLING out of the sky, either way, as of late I HATE flying. Like hate it in the down-a-half-liter-of-vodka and pop a few Xanax way.
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